What If God Himself Made The Next Windows OS?

If there’s one thing that Microsoft has proved itself, it is that they are clearly inept in properly designing their operating systems. I mean look at Vista, something must have gone horribly wrong. So, what if the head of the Microsoft OS department was replaced by God Himself? What changes would God bring about in the next Windows OS? Well, they would be something in the lines of :

1. Mercilessly squish the User Access Control prompt

“An unidentified program wants access to your computer. Are you sure….” and kazam. That’s the end of the annoying UAC in Vista. God would get rid of UAC without a second thought. I mean which goon in the Redmond HQ thought of this in the first place? Of course I know what I am doing, and, yes I want to be able to install programs without having to go through this for the hundredth time. (On a lighter note, users can turn off UAC completely from the Vista Control Panel).

2. Won’t “force” users to upgrade to the next version of Windows

The next version of Windows might not sell well, but God won’t force you to upgrade to Windows 7. And he won’t threaten to cut off all previous retail versions of Windows just because Windows 7 isn’t selling well. If one thing he is sure about, it’s that not to mess with the happy paying customer or everyone just might start switching over to Macs.

3. Wouldn’t ship a buggy OS and then a Service Pack that doesn’t fix anything

No, God would make sure he gets it right in the first place. And even if something slips off his radar, he would make sure to deliver a patch that “actually” fixes the problem in the first place, so that users don’t have to gripe about it in forums.

4. Drop the price and get rid of unnecessary iterations of Windows

Windows 7 Home Basic? Come on, God wouldn’t do that cause nobody will buy it to begin with. And, oh, he won’t totally rip of his customers by selling a substandard product at sky-high prices. He might have a monopoly on PCs, but that’s just how God DOESN’T operate.

5. Take a few pointers from Steve Jobs and innovate Windows

Anyone heard about the Time machine program in the latest Leopard OS X? It’s light years ahead of what Vista’s measly backup program can do. Seen the latest Safari browser? Even Firefox 3 looks more promising than Internet Explorer 8. Yeah. And he won’t just give Windows a facelift and then go on touting how super-cool his latest OS is.

6. Build a service pack that actually delivers

If there is anything certain in life, it’s Jack Thompson, taxes and deaths. Over here at Vista world, it’s crashes, incompatibility, and useless service packs. And when the service pack actually comes out, God will ensure that it does the job properly and fixes what should have worked from Day 1.

7. And last, but certainly not the least

He wouldn’t make a new Windows OS at all because he is still happily using Windows XP.

Do you think I have missed something? Well, fell free to add it in the comments below or shoot me an email.

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