Top 10 Ways To Piss Off Gamers In Forums

Nobody paying attention to you in forums? Well worry not. Gamers World Bangladesh brings you a list of the hot-button topics that is sure to get a surge of comments headed your way, and possibly more than what you bargained for.

1. Brand Loyalty (Equals Fanboyism)

Whatever you do, never say you love [insert favorite console here] instead of the PS3/Xbox 360/Wii/PSP/DS for fear of being branded as a fanboy. You’ll be instantly drowned in hate messages from other people defending their PS3/Xbox 360/Wii/PSP/DS (aka other fanboys). I think of fanboyism as brand loyalty. Variations also include ATI vs Nvidia.

2. Microsoft sucks

Anything with Microsoft (or Vista) in the headline and defaming the company is a surefire way to get attention. Who cares if its chairman is the largest donator to charity. So what if almost everyone uses Windows, Microsoft Office and Internet Explorer (although Firefox is gaining). The point is they can’t do anything right and makes a great topic to stir up the hornets nest.

3. PC Gaming Is Doomed

The classical way to start a ‘heated’ discussion. Just kick back and relax while the argument takes off with why PC gaming is doomed/isn’t doomed and how a big noob you are for starting the topic in the first place.

4. Blatantly promote your blog

Your free blogspot/wordpress blog means the whole world to you and you dream of cracking the 10,000 pageviews mark on the very next day you launched your blog. Start a topic only saying hi and link to the post about how you ate Cheerios for breakfast and played WoW. Better yet, link to every post you ever wrote on your blog (usually 3) and forum members are sure to take notice.

What also works: Hi guys, I’ve read this interesting article at [insert your blog link here] and you must check it out, all the while pretending to be somebody else.

5. Abbrv8

U don hav time to tipe prop3rly n think u r l33t. It lookz kewl 2 u. U don’t spill check.

6. How Halo is better than Metal Gear Solid

This also works the other way around. You can also start fantasizing why it would be a good idea if Halo 3 was ported to the PS3 and MGS4 to the 360. Be prepared for the onslaught, just check out the comments here.

7. Give MGS 4 a 4/10

Guys, Kojima lost his touch. I don’t want to watch a 90 min. movie, the old guy doesn’t fit because he has gray hair/big ‘stache and go on rambling about what YOU think.

8. Next gen console wars

This is similar to #1. Go on and on about why you think the Xbox 360 is doomed with it’s red ring of death and why Xbox 720 will only match the PS3 performance wise. There are other favorite topics such as PSN vs. Xbox Live. Again it’s crucial to say what you think with blatant disregard to industry norms.

9. Get Personal

“Who the hell do you think you are? So what IF I said the PS4 will lose out to the Xbox 720. Can’t you see I’ve had solid evidence backed only by rumors, speculations and myths? You’re damn wrong bozo just coz I have a masters degree from this well reputable college.” A sure way to get the mods attention. Also works: “I want to f**king kill you” (for voicing your opinion).

10. Sound like an industry expert

Even though you know nothing of the platform/topic you’re criticizing more than the next guy. Just what I always do. 😉

Well that’s it folks. Take it from a noob who had to learn it the hard way and you’ll hit the jackpot.

Editor’s note: Don’t come back crawling to me if you get banned. I am in no way responsible so please don’t flame/threaten/sue me for following the advice listed above. Hate mails are usually not responded to, unless it’s life threatening. Subscriptions to my blog are welcome though. 🙂

* This entire article is intended as a sarcasm. Please don’t take it seriously.